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Author’s Note: This has a small cross with ‘Stitch’ more because I wanted to post it to the crossgate list than because I wanted it to be a cross over. But…I don’t think it detracts from the story any. Might even get a couple more chuckles.
SPAM
Colonel Sheppard had been right in the middle of showing his new boss, Colonel Carter, the blueprints that Samson had sent him, when the screen made a sort of jerking motion and then went black
“Not again,” he groaned.
“This happens a lot?” Carter asked.
“Only recently, since around the time we heard you were coming.” He suddenly realized his words might give her the wrong implications and quickly added, “no offence.”
She just smirked, “None taken. Here, I got the e-mail, too, I’ll just pull it up.” But the moment she tried to access her email it froze up her entire tablet.
With a sigh, Sheppard activated his earpiece and called out, “MacKay!”
“What?” Rodney exclaimed even as he walked into the office, his face still down, eyes completely focused on the tablet in his hands.
Sheppard made a face and said again, not bothering with the radio, “Rodney!”
The scientist looked up, startled, “Oh, Colonel…s…did you know the mail system’s down again?”
“That’s just what I was calling you about,” Sheppard replied.
“Oh, right.” But then he went back to poking at his tablet.
“Can you fix it?” Sheppard pushed.
MacKay just distractedly waved a hand. “Yes, yes. Just give me a minute.”
Sheppard turned back to Carter to see a strange look on the Colonel’s face. Her fingers were tapping the countertop, and she looked very much like she wanted to take Rodney’s tablet, but then, she was a scientist, too. She probably hated not fixing these problems herself. Sheppard turned away to hide his smirk only to see something blue flash across the window.
“I don’t suppose the problem could be caused by the…friend…you brought,” he finally suggested.
The other two looked out the window to see what he was referring too and Carter actually blushed with guilt. “He was so cute, I thought he could come in handy…and surprisingly, he fit in my luggage,” Carter lamely explained.
The blur of blue fur stuck itself to one of the consoles and made a sort of growling noise that startled the technician.
MacKay made a face, gripping, “I wish, then maybe we could get rid of him. But sadly, no, it’s not him. Its all the spam.”
“Spam?” Sheppard protested. “Rodney, we live in the Pegasus Galaxy, we don’t get spam!”
“But we do get multiple memo’s and notices.”
Carter made a face. “Rodney, those are necessary functions to a running base, not to mention, a city?”
“I know, but do we really need to hear about the change in scheduled maintenance six times? Or that Kelly…something, is going to be starting a book club? Look, the problem isn’t the individual messages, it’s all the cross list posting,” MacKay explained, his hand busily poking away at his tablet even as he spoke. “There, that should solve the problem.” He gave them a smug smile, happily explaining. “I’ve combined all the lists into one so now everyone should only get each message once.”
Somehow Sheppard didn’t feel so reassured by MacKay’s solution, but rebooting his tablet, he opened his email box. Almost instantly thirty-two new messages appeared, with subject titles ranging anything from ‘Athosian recipe of the week’ to ’10 great ways to annoy MacKay.’
Beside him, Carter almost laughed…almost. Then, with a half suppressed smile she calmly asked their top scientist, “Rodney, just how many lists were there?”
MacKay consulted his tablet, frowned, fidgeted, and then finally replied, “sixty-seven.”
End
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Eh, anyone out there?
